This weekend I spent time in South Downs visiting friends and running away from urban life.
I was "getting away from it all".
I'm not very happy admitting that. I don't know why but I do.
anyway.
John, the man (why do I use this term....) of the house (the dude with the giant rat in the photos from a while a go), bought a chicken to celebrate the fact I was staying for the weekend (later I found out people usually buy chickens on their birthdays because of the cost...I was flattered but somewhat ashamed at the same time. I hate the thought of people spending money on me there although they see it as a time of celebration as the "white man" comes to stay....it's the idea of struggling with the thought of not being a burden but at the same time this is a big deal for these people....it is a RARE occasion when a white person sleeps at your house for a few days....it would be if the pope ate at your place...what kind of food would you prepare....even if he said nothing fancy....know what i mean?? hard to make a good call here...im torn). The thing is when you buy a chicken in the village you are buying a CHICKEN, a live-living-breathing-being....not the pink thing you see in the freezer at the grocery store...that's food..not a chicken.
So I got to see for the first time what it means to turn a chicken into food. Not realising how much it would make me think.
I don't know if I would say I was scared because I have caught fish before and have watched them die....but for some reason this time was different. It made me think. Maybe it is the circumstances under which I am living. Maybe I am just getting older. I don't know. I don't seem to know much these days. You would think as you get older you would know more and more but I feel like I am knowing less and less. Maybe that's because I am realise how much more there is to know and how much time is takes to really get it...if you get it....fuck im rambling.....
Back to the chicken.
He just took the chicken. Held the legs with his feet.Pushed back the chicken's neck with one hand.With the knife in the other. He slit it's throat.
I forgot that death is not always instantaneous.It takes time to die just as it took time to come alive.
What do you think that chicken was thinking as everything slowly went dark? Did it even realise what was going on. It must have been wondering something was different because this dude was holding his feet and neck.I wonder if it thought about its life as blood sprayed against the tree and pooled on the ground.Did it even know what blood was?Does it matter....
Made me think about how easy life comes in and out of this world.5 minutes before that chicken got killed it was having a great time eating corn.10 minutes after it was being boiled in hot water to remove its feathers.
Each chicken has two wings.Next time you eat chicken wings at a restaurant count how many you got and divide by 2. That's how many chickens died for that meal.I am not trying to convince you to stop eating meat.I want you to think about life.Think about how fragile it is. How lucky you are.We are.
I don't know what is in store after this life.That chicken might. But I don't.You don't.No one does.So appreciate what you got now.Things might be bad.Things might be good.Everything is circumstantial.
I am happy to be here.I am happy that you are here.That we all are.
Tell someone how much you love them.Especially those whom you don't tell often.You don't know when it might be the last time.
I love you.
Tony
all a man(woman) can build is his/her vision
ps. thanks for making me think elisa.
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Wow, these are very powerful reflections. I think it's so important for people to know where their food comes from. It's so unfortunate that in North America most urban dwellers are so disconnected from the source of their food. My sister had a similar experience with witnessing chicken slaughter when she was in Uganda, and she said she felt better eating the chicken having gained a deeper appreciation of its life/death cycle.
ReplyDeleteIn essence, Tony, that is why I am a vegetarian.
ReplyDeleteI cannot look a chicken in the eye and say to it "I shall devour you" anymore than I could look my friend in the eye and tell him/her they are about to die (even if I was a doctor and it was some sort of cancer diagnosis). The notions of human intelligence dissipate at an expedited rate when it's a question of life and life longing to grow. To me the action of a chicken eating corn is more of a testament of the will to live than George Bailey's impassioned plea for life near the end of "it's a wonderful life". Enough rambling from me.
wow.
ReplyDeletevery well communitcated tony. i had very similar chicken moments (and goat moments). it is a very surreal thing, when our whole lives food is food, a sanitary thing from the grocery store, not a once living thing, whether an animal or a plant. this summer i am furthering my experience with food by having a backyard garden. lots of love dude, and keep on learning!
kim