It is amazing to think that depending on where you are born dictates the life you will live. If you are born in Zambia, there is a good chance you are going to struggle much more than if you were born in Canada or the United States (whoaa....ok....I know...I know...there is TONS of poverty in both of those countries but the probability of being in that state is much higher in Zambia or Ghana or burkina faso). But what does it mean to struggle? What does it mean to be in poverty?

If a impoverished Zambian where to come to Canada. Shit, if a middle class Zambian where to come to Canada and we compared our lives some would think they are in poverty. I would be hard pressed to find that a Zambian looking at a Canadian in poverty would deem them so.

What if someone came to you one day and said you were living in poverty. They said your living situation was inadequate, that your life could be so much "better". Worse off, what if you thought your life was pretty fucking good. Things were "hard" but you were managing while still having a "good" time.

How would you feel?

I would feel confused.

I used "" around the words good and hard for a reason.

How do you define a good life? What makes it that your life is hard?

Dissect your life. Pull apart the things that make it what it is. Try to outline the good and bad things that make it so. How many of those good things can you remove until it is no longer good.

-Family
-Friends
-Security
-Shelter
-Food

The three bottom things I would deem necessities in order to biologically survive.

But the top two....oh the top two are so much more. Sure you could get by on food, warmth, hide from the snow/rain but without company to hide from those things, to eat that food to share your "troubles" life seems so meaningless. So grey. A void.

But those are the needs that I exert in order to have a good life. I tend to have a lot more "things" in my life (camera, education, books, nice knives to cook with, clothes, music....et). If someone said to me, why don't you throw those things out? I would be hard-pressed to find an answer that could justify to keep them other than my internal greed (want) for these things.

Under pressing circumstances I could get rid of them, but how dire would the situation have to be where I would abandon my camera? Possibly (I feel certain but I don't think I could ever be 100%...feel like shit for saying that) when one of those 5 necessities where threatened.

I don't think there is a definition to a good life.
I don't think there is a definition to a bad one (poverty).
It is relative upon your situation.

I used to think that as humans we are entitles to the same kind of life. I attributed this to materialistic goods, ways of living, methods of interaction with others, resources....et.
But my views are based on the way of life I have been given, how I came into this life.

The way I want my life is not that of which many Zambians do. Some want more. Some want less. How do we work to ensure that people can achieve the "good" life they desire? Can it be done?

I seem to be asking a lot of open ended questions here. That wasn't my intention when I started this. I wanted to get down to how poverty and struggling are very different things for everyone. Kinda lost track......It is so easy to get confused when witting about these things because so many emotions that I don't understand come about me.

The idea of a "good" life baffles me.

I see urban poverty every single day. I watch elder woman beg for money on the side walk. I see them sleep with their hands extended. Blind men being guided around town by children, asking for money. I debate on giving money but am torn on the idea that it just supports this life and that if you hold out they will seek government help.

But is there really government help?

I looked into it and there are 3 government houses here in Zambia for the poorest of the poor who have no one to go. I do not know how these houses operate but from seeing all the poor just in Kitwe I wonder if a bullet to the head is a better solution (wow...this is harsh...sometimes it feels cold to say these things....fuck..it is the truth).

Is it a underlying human condition that some MUST suffer while others survive. Part of our instinct, not all can be equal....there must be a divide. Maybe we unconsciously create this poverty line in order to basque in our "good" life. Would our "good" life be so "good" if everyone had it? No it would not. If everything was sweet, would we know what sweet was? No. We would not appreciate it.

Is poverty our way of making us appreciate our "good" life.
Fuck I hope not.

I seem to be more and more negative or cynical in the past weeks. There are stories of success, there beautiful things I could talk about. But why? My co-worker told me this today "If you gave us the money we would forget that we needed the money from head office and just go about things, it would blind our need, the reason for action". I don't feel compelled to talk about success stories because happiness does not get things done. Anger does. Pure utter rage. That is where I am at.

I am just fucking angry as hell and want to tear the head off something evil.

I use fuck a lot because it perfectly conveys this emotion. I don't intend to use it in a vulgar manner but in a serious and emotionally deranged fashion where it is perfectly acceptable because I don't know any other word in the English language that ascertains so much anger.

Out.

Tony