so how am i doing heart/body/mind? Body: It has its ups and downs. right now is it good because i am full, i dont get very many "big" meals but i had a huge chicken shwarma today. oh yea, being vegetarian here is impossile....i am dying to get healthy food in me. some places dont have water for sale...coke and fanta (which is like orange pop...they have it at some places in canada). i feel weak about 60% of the time but i have been excersing and doing yoga 2 times a day. ah this is were i have a favor to ask you. could you send me some yoga flows from the internet...google is really slow here and it takes forever to search. its not even that i dont have the money to do it (i do, money i am good) but time is hard to come by or access to internet...i never know when i will have a reliable amount. i have not built up the courage to run around my 'hood yet. soon i hope. still trying to fit in...the scariest part is the ground...its so uneven that if i am not looking on the ground i will break my neck...its unexplainable...i will take photos...overall i am really trying to keep my health on top.
Mind: I am either bored or overwhelmed. Well 80% i am in those catagories. The other 20% i am uncertain. Today for example is my first day at work...we had a planning meeting for 3.5 hours then my boss was like "tony, go sit in the corner over there and make an action plan for the summer about your position....." well i did that and i came up with some random ideas (i let her know that) but i also explained for a real action plan to be made i need some time to understand the environment i am working in, how they are working, their strengths and their weaknesses. my one idea we went with (and surprisingly they need this i was told) was an information database for all their market information. they have tons of infomation about their surrounding regions and their markets (this office has awesome potential but they also use about 80%, they are very very effective and good at what they do) but they lack the recrod keeping and orginization. i have no physical information to gather, i have to interview and pry information for each of my three co workers. so this was an example overwhelming bored times are when no one is home and i am there alone or everyone is talking in bemba and forget that i am there...thats hard sometimes. i really feel alone at those points. i am getting some bemba down but im kinda slow. i think tonight i will update my bemba guide. i keep my mind going with solitaire, i am so happy i brought cards... what i good idea. ah now favor number two...could you (not right away, whenever you have time) find me some instructions and rules for one players card games...i love solitaire but im starting to get bored. i hate to do this but im a little desparate.
Heart: Ah...the hardest one to define. its flutters...i have been feeling like i am not pushing myself enough lately and i need to do so. but at the same time i am really comfortable talking to strangers or being alone in the markets or cities. so i am at a loss. i was told that it would be very difficult for me to find a rural experience in this town, i think that is what is getting to me. i feel guilty because i am in a house with power and i have my own room...but i dont know what else to do. i am learning the customs ( i think ) and i am gaining a true kitwe experience ( i hope..people tell me so ). i have been participating in church, family activites, conversations about life here...seeing local markets....but i still feel down in the heart area...i feel like i am cheating somehow. so i will be pushing myself more and more. although i have to admit i have still avoided the latrine experience..contrary to popular belief there are many flush toilets and i have been using those....latrines scare me due to the increased chance of spiders.
this was an exerpt from something. please forget the questions but i did not want to alter the utter (moo!) truth.
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Hey Tony,
ReplyDeleteIt's so great to hear about what's going on with you. I hope you start feeling healthier soon. For the first month I was in India I felt weak all the time and just wanted to sleep a lot. I think it's because I wasn't sleeping enough at night and it was also WAY hotter than in Canada. Make sure you're sleeping well and drinking lots of water.
It's great that there's something you've identified that might be useful to your organization. Maybe you could work on that a little bit while still taking time to learn more about IDE and its needs. It might even help you to get to know people since you'll have an easy excuse to be talking to them that will make sense to them (I don't know if that's even and issue for you though). You can throw in some of your own questions to learn more about them and the organization too.
I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not you're having a "real" enough experience. You're living in Kitwe, you're spending time with and talking with local people and you're living with a local family. You're experience is real and valuable even if it isn't rural or with the most poor family in Zambia. When I was in Ghana my family had a flush toilet, a television, matching living room couches, a truck and even their own computer. This may have not been an experience living with the poorest of the poor but they were still real people living in Ghana and there was a lot I was able to learn from them. Sometimes I think there can be an image created of what a JF placement ought to look like but realistically it's going to be different for everyone. Look for the opportunities to push yourself and to learn within the situation you're in. I can guarantee there are lots of them. Feeling guilty will just become a barrier to your learning.
And if you do feel like you want to get a better understanding of rural life then take some time to go and stay with a family in a village. Your co-workers can probably help you set this up.
I'm so excited for you. I know you have a lot to contribute both to your organization and to the chapter once you get back. I can't wait to see future blog updates!
I love you dearly!
Have a beautiful day!
Elisa
Cungulo Tony,
ReplyDeleteThanks for being honest and so open in your posts. I totally agree with Elisa and it is normal for the first few days, even weeks, to not be easy and different from what we initially imagined it to be. There should not be any rush as you are learning to adapt yourself to your new environment and people around you are also adapting to your new presence.
About your current living conditions, (to add to Elisa's comment)I think that the reality that you are living in will provide you other insights on Zambian life that other people that live in remote villages won't have. When I was in Nchelenge, I was living in a mudhut house, but my friends and other people that worked at the clinic and ministry offices close by lived in the rich part of the district and had access to most of the commodities that you have mentioned. They were also obviously more educated, spoke English really well, they perceived development and life challenges differently, so I gained a lot from our conversations. Don't feel guilty about it. I think that it is a great opportunity to live something different, to learn something different from other JFs.
I hope that you will get better soon. If you want to chat, send me your phone number and I can call you. We're in the same time zone, so that will make things easier!
Love,
M